Surrogacy is a journey that should not be taken without proper consideration of both the advantages and disadvantages, as well as, the risks and the rewards. The reasons for becoming a surrogate vary greatly for each individual surrogate, they are deeply personal and often result in more questions from others then answers. For most surrogates there isn’t a greater feeling then giving life to someone else’s family.

Pros

  1. Community: The relationship forged between surrogates is one that is built upon both respect and trust. Respect, because we understand each other better having a shared set of beliefs and the desire to help others in ways that many think we are crazy for doing. Trust, because we rely on those who have come before us to guide us, support us and love us through the process from matching through post partum. These bonds, these relationships are powerfully uplifting and create strong, unmatchable love and respect for one another that not only see us through surrogacy but become friendships we can take through life with us.
  2. Pregnancy: Often as surrogates we find ourselves in a position where we are done having children of our own, our family is complete. And yet, we find ourselves with the desire to be pregnant. Surrogacy allows us to fulfill our pregnancy desires without the responsibility of a newborn and the sleepless nights that come with it.
  3. Fulfillment: There is a huge sense of pride and accomplishment for women who complete a surrogacy journey, knowing that they not only helped to create a family, but also that it might not have been possible without them. There is also a huge sense of joy seeing the end result. I know that when I had my surrobabe in 2017 I could feel the love, joy and appreciation from my intended parents and this instilled a send of love and joy in my heart that no feeling on earth has ever competed with.
  4. Compensation: The financial reward of surrogacy is often a great reward, allowing surrogates to feel as though they are contributing to their own family through the financial incentives that they receive. This compensation is in place in order to protect the surrogate and compensate them for their time, risk and commitment to the surrogacy process. This amount is set in place to allow the surrogate to feel secure knowing that they are helping their family get ahead financially.
  5. Legally Protected: Surrogates are legally protected, the contracts that are set in place before the embryo transfer set out all the terms of the agreement including compensation, pregnancy, delivery and ‘worst case’ scenarios so that the surrogate never has to make decisions they are not comfortable making. These contracts also place the responsibility of the newborn on the intended parents so that the surrogate is not responsible for the baby when it is born.
  6. Educate: Being a surrogate is often a chance to educate those around you both of the surrogacy process as well as the overwhelming prevalence of infertility in the world. Surrogacy gives intended parents a way to be genetically connected to their child that they otherwise wouldn’t have.
  7. Family: Quite often the relationship between surrogate and intended parents flourish into a state of something similar to an extended family. More often then not, should both the surrogate and the intended parents wish they maintain a close relationship following the birth of surrogate that allows the surrogate to watch the baby grow and be reminded of the strong and selfless woman that they are.

Cons

  1. Physically Demanding: Surrogacy, like any pregnancy can be extremely physically demanding. Having to attend screenings, interviews, and appointments as well as keep the intended parents in the loop so they know what is going on can be quite exhausting at times.
  2. Emotionally Taxing: Surrogacy can be emotionally difficult, as many women find most pregnancies are. Surrogacy, however, has the added aspect where you are not bringing the baby home after delivery. I know during my surrogacy journey this was the part that had me worried, I was uncertain how I would be able to handle giving birth and then going home ‘empty-handed’. But when I watched my intended parents light up as their family was suddenly complete I knew, in that moment I understood and it became the easiest thing I had ever done in my life. This is different for every surrogate, which is why it is so important to have a support network in place should there be any negative emotions following the birth of surrobabe.
  3. Time Commitment: The surrogate process can be a huge time commitment, from matching to the initial assessments and screening through transfer, delivery and post partum it is a minimum of a year. During this time, you are asked to refrain from any risky or dangerous behaviour as well as required not to travel outside the bounds of your contract. This is in place to protect both the health of the baby and the surrogate, as traveling can lead to unnecessary risk if going into labour in a state that is not surrogacy friendly or that does not have the proper framework in place for both the surrogate and intended parents.
  4. Personal Commitment: Surrogacy is a highly controversial topic, and for many people it is neither understood or accepted. So, when making a commitment to become a surrogate there must be a level of personal dedication because as people begin to learn of your journey it will lead to more questions then praise for your decision. Your friends and family may not accept, understand or support your decision which can be emotionally and mentally hard to go through. The surrogacy community is always there to listen to you and support you when others may fail.